Friday, April 24, 2009

hypothetical nerdbabies

Any time I am in the presence of/charge of/general vicinity of children, my primary goal and focus is to nerd them up as much as possible. Kids wanna watch some tv? HERE COME THE 123s. Read a book? Yeah! Cool! I'll make 'em try to sound out words, I'll ask 'em questions. Do it to it! Kids have got to be brought up in an environment in which learning is fun and good and exciting! I hate how it's looked upon as work and un-fun BECAUSE IT IS NOT. Not unless you connote it with negativity. LEARNING IS FUN. IT IS PROFITABLE AND IMPORTANT AND FUN.

I freaking love when we put Here Come the ABCs on and the kids spazz out to E Eats Everything and hop along to Clap Your Hands. There is nothing more adorable than a nerdbaby. Oh my gosh, if I ever get to be the primary influence in a kid's life, I will have that kid reading by age 3. And hurling Shakespearean insults at 1st grade bullies. And they will know and appreciate THE ENTIRE DISCOGRAPHY AND WORK OF THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS. They will know everything about James K. Polk and the sun and the heart and that shooting stars are not stars and SO ON.

They will read Encyclopedia Brown and have epic reasoning skillz. I will train them in the ways of thisisnottom. And I'll be danged if they don't learn the accordion and/or ukulele.


  1. I know exactly what you mean. I want my kids to be nerdy to the max and I mean that in the best way possible. I want them to be able to hear the difference between Paul McCartney's and John Lennon's voice in Beatles songs when other children are listening to Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I want them to wear converse and cool band t-shirts and be able to recite Monty Python. In short, I want them to be made of awesome!

  2. Dude, that is exactly how I want to raise my children. ONLY THE BEST FOR MY OFFSPRING.

  3. Dude, these kids who are singing to brooms and dancing around at They Might Be Giants shows are gonna be SO AWESOME in a few years!


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