Monday, July 31, 2006

Well, I'm bored, so I figured I'd post some more tv stuff from last week that I was too lazy to type out then. First, I have an instruction sheet thing for a DDR type game that plugs into the tv. Besides it being a really crappy game, the translation's horrible. And funny. Bad grammar makes me sad. So it's funny but sad. Heh. "Our governor has been running all week on the treadmill" - Jimmie Kimmel about what Arnold's been doing in resopnse to the heat wave. Regis was on Kimmel (I know I'm spelling his name wrong, but I'm too lazy to figure it out). Jimmie was saying what he though Regis was doing with all his money-- Building "some hyperbaric chamber where you and Michael Jackson will live until the end of time." And then Jimmie was complaining that he hadn't won a Relly (Regis and Kelly award thing) for best fill-in co-host the last year. He was up for it again. So was -ew- Geraldo. "If Geraldo beats me....I'll kill myself live on the air if Geraldo beats me." I would too, Jimmie, I would too. Then Regis forced Jimmie to sing with him. "Who's Your Little Whosit". What the heck? Now Ferguson. "When Castro dies, they'll rename it (Cuba) Starbucks, and everyone'll come back." There is this really strange commercial that makes me enraged whenever I see it. It's for some glue stick type thing that one is supposed to rub on one's forehead. I don't ever know what it does. My mom has gotten sick of me complaining about is so much. I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't get it. Craig: "There's this commercial out there *shows the commercial* (It's just this lady rubbing the thing on her head. It replays the same sentence three times: -Head On. Apply directly to the forehead. Head On. Apply directly to the forehead. Head On. Apply directly to the forehead. Head On is available at Rite-Aid, CVS, and Walgreens.) "You put it on your forehead. Alright. But what for? WHAT FOR?" "Steak is the tuxedo of meat. Bologna is the retarded cousin" And on that note, I shall end.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

More tv stuff. Malcolm in the Middle: The family's playing a board game. Dewey: "Look! We look just like the family on the box!" Hal: "Oh, yeah." Dewey: "Can I be the little girl?" Hal: "Not on my watch, son." There's acutally, in some wax museum, a sculpture of baby Shiloh. "Brangelina's" baby. That is really strange. "Saddam said he'd rather have death by firing squad that by being hung, and he'd rather do both than be William Hung." - Jimmie Kimmel Craig's intro thing: "Hi, hey, everybody. Welcome to LA, welcome to the LLS, I'm your host tv's Craig Ferguson. Please, sit down. Relax. Put your hand in a bowl of warm water... and fall fast asleep.... What could possibly go wrong?" "Welcome back, my frisky little chiwauwas. *whip sound* That's right. I'd whip a chiwauwa. Only if I had to....if it came at me." "My fluffy little kittens." *Conan tries on high heels* "Oh, wow! Your feet are so sweet and pretty!" - Emma Thompson "The plane's broken!" "With the hair, I'm over 11 ft high." - Conan *commercial break* "Alright. We're back. Stop laughing at my hair." "I'm in shape. It's just the shape of a pear." - John Lovitz on Leno Lovitz brings out his "pet" miniature bull. "His name is Jay Leno. Jay! Stop drooling on the furniture!" "Dick Cheney made a list of all the gifts he's received. He got some pretty nice things. A hammock. etc. Also on the list were glasses that make your friends look exactly like quail." - Carson Daley That was fun to type.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I suppose I'm gonna put all the things from late night tv which I thought were funny on here. Every day. Or so. Most of it'll be about Ferguson. "It's so hot that I feel like the Kool-aid guy is gonna crash through the wall any minute, b ut he never does." -Mr. Kimmell. One or two m's and l's? I dunno. Also, Guiermo as the "Lady in the Water" was great. Guiermo rocks. Craig got a new set. Yay. It's all purple and blue; very cool. Eddie Izzard said it had "the wonderful air of a train station." He also has a really good diet plan called "Don't Eat the Bloody Thing" or Don't Eat the Carpet. Or shrubs. Other quotes form Ferg. *Craiggie in the Water *I feel like bacon. *M. Night Shah-ma-la-mayan *Big hugh John Goodman head-shaped apples. ^Look at that. Every time I type hug or huge it comes out "Hugh". It's a major problem. *He actually said "telemarketers" right. Instead of telemarkerers. *Alluding to Bob Barker's vampire-ism. I'm done.

Monday, July 3, 2006


I am really happy now. Went to Lake Erie yesterday, fireworks tonight (fireworks or die!), convinced my mom to get a DDR type thing. Exercise, I said. Got a new speaker-y thing for my mp3 player, TMBG podcasts due real soon, gonna get an electric guitar, late-night tv, my sister's at my grandma's house -quiet!-, something's in at the library- hope it's Blackadder. Or Mink Car. Or Then: The Earlier Years. Dumb thing. Every time I requested T:TEY, they kept sending me Pink Album. Oh well. Um. Ooh. Hughesday's tomorrow. And my birthday's comin' this month. Money to buy TMBG stuff. Yay! That's it. Gonna make some more They icons now.