Thursday, August 5, 2010


Ok I was in bed, completely content, in that perfect position with the blankets so comfortable and everything was heavenly and I was just about to start to drift off to sleep when I remembered dumb BEDA I didn't do yet. Just kidding it's not dumb but ugh.

Since I obviously cannot write about the topic that my BEDA friend peeps are talking about, which is patronuses (patroni?) and boggarts, whatever those are, and some other Harry Potter thing, I was going to write about something I've noticed about David Foster Wallace's writing.

It was going to be brilliant and well thought out and clever and right on and good, but it would have/will take a while to work out to get it exactly right the way I want to say it, and I've just been asleep for the past four or five hours and very much want to return to slumber presently, so that is not going to happen today.

Instead, I will deconstruct an old childhood playground taunt song that reading Breakfast of Champions made me think about and tell you how wrong and dumb and ridiculous it is.

So ok.

I see London
I see France
I see whoever's underpants
Could be blue
Could be pink
I don't know but they sure do stink

This is just completely rife with logical fallacies I mean come on.

You cannot possibly see London or France at the same time. You can't even see one of them, unless you live there, which the children on playgrounds of my youth did not. I suppose you could be LOOKING at a PICTURE of London or France, but that would be ridiculous and dumb.

Furthermore, if you do, in fact, see their underwear, the next two lines are redundant and useless, with the third being just wrong. Which because if you see their underpants, of course you know what color they are.

Unless you are color blind which is unfortunate and perhaps the reason you have taken to bullying other children about their undergarments as you are frustrated and mad that they know the difference between red and green and constantly flaunt this fact and relentlessly tease you with little songs they made up, skipping around you in circles whilst singing about turquoise and chartreuse, I don't know, that's how children work.


  1. I reckon you probably could see both London AND France, tbh. Where my parents live you can see France on a clear day, and they're further away from France than the Dover peninsular is. I'm sure there is an observatory/hill somewhere around there from which you can see both London AND France.

    The question is then, was the rhyme written there?! OH HOW THE PLOT THICKENS!!

    My main issue with that playground taunt song is that it doesn't rhyme. I mean, sure, poetry doesn't have to rhyme, but anything written in school sure as hell does! Bah! Vonnegut gets all up in my face. =/

  2. I read Giles' comment with a British accent. and also, val, you are a genius. ok.

  3. Please blog always because you're great

  4. I've never actually heard the last 3 lines before.

  5. @giles hahaha after i went to bed i was laying there thinking that you prob could maybe see france from london and i don't know geography at all

  6. i thought you've already read the one with boggarts!


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