- Contrary to popular belief, Flansburgh is not successful at sobering up a drunk person, and in many cases he may actually increase the adverse effects of alcohol.
- Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Flansburgh.
- A Flansburghometer is used to measure Flansburgh!
- Flansburgh was the first Tsar of Russia!
- Flansburgh is only six percent water!
- Native Americans never actually ate Flansburgh; killing such a timid prey was thought to indicate laziness!
- In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Flansburgh in your mouth.
- Grapes explode if you put them inside Flansburgh!
- A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find Flansburgh.
- Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Flansburgh.
Eating icecream can make you feel sick.
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