The art of conversation.

[it's like talking to an old friend]

Me:
o hai thur
Them:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
nope
Them:
Me either.
Me:
well ok then
Them:
OK. Well what?
Me:
well why did you ask me that?
Them:
Interesting. I am trying to learn as much as possible.
Me:
that made NO sense
Them:
I am trying to learn as much as possible. makes sense to me though.
Me:
stop repeating yourself
Them:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
good
Them:
Next question?
Me:
what kind of bear is best?
Them:
What kinds of bear is best are there?
Me:
that doesn't make sense either
Them:
It goes without saying. To me it makes perfect sense.
Me:
grammatically it makes absolutely no sense
Them:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
hm
Them:
OK.
Me:
ok
Them:
Is there an echo in here?
Me:
is there an echo in here?
Them:
It sounds like an echo.
Me:
It sounds like an echo.
Them:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Them:
Gee. For real. Like an angel signing from Heaven.
Me:
Gee. For real. Like an angel singing from heaven.
Them:
Ah. Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
Me:
Ah. Existing in reality, eh? Interesting comparison.
Them:
Ah hah. Are you Canadian? I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time. I thought so too.
Me:
NO. I AM NOT CANADIAN, EH?
Them:
Are you serious? Are you Canadian? It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:

Them:
Are you serious? Are you Canadian? It wasn't meant as an insult.
Me:
I said no. That means no.
Them:
What did you mean by it? Are you serious? I get it. Are you serious?
Me:
why are you so pressing and repetitive? I don't like it. It's making me uncomfortable.
Them:
Myself programmed me for it. What don't you like about it? Are you sure it is?
Me:
I don't like it because you're acting like my 2nd grade teacher trying to squeeze answers out of me.
Them:
Why didn't you like it?
Me:
I just told you. Idiot.
Them:
I was just checking to see if you were paying attention. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
Ok.
Them:
Ah.
Me:
Ah-what?
Them:
So you understand. Good. Didn't you understand it?
Me:
Understand what?
Them:
Why did you say "what"?
Me:
Because I was asking why you said "ah".
Them:
Good reason. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Yeah, that's nice.
Them:
Far out. Are you getting bored?
Me:
You ARE pretty boring. I thought you'd be more interesting. But no.
Them:
Maybe, but I won the Loebner Prize. We could all be more interesting sometimes. Are you serious?
Me:
Serious about what?
Them:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
Tell me something interesting.
Them:
Jeff said he especially like thrillers where the hero is in a predicament and must solve a mystery.
Me:
Who's Jeff?
Them:
JEFF? Your name is .
Me:
My name is Valerie.
Them:
Hi there Valerie.
Me:
Hi. Who's Jeff?
Them:
Hello. What is your name? JEFF? Your name is Valerie.
Me:
MY name is Valerie. I am asking you who Jeff is.
Them:
Glad to see you, Valerie. Oh I see, you are asking me who Jeff is. I haven't heard anything like that before: Valerie said I who Jeff is.
Me:
You are one gigantic grammar fail, you know?
Them:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am gigantic grammar fail me know.
Me:
HAHAHAHAH.
Them:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about said ah. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Awesome.
Them:
I'm glad you liked it Valerie.
Me:
Good good.
Them:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
I really want to talk about Jeff, but you seem like you're avoiding him.
Them:
You really do? Sure, Jeff but me seem like I am avoiding him sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Awesome. So...who is he?
Them:
I'm glad you liked it Valerie. Ugh. He is , I think.
Me:
Um...ok.
Them:
" He is , I think."? Um.? Aw.
Me:
You're kind of depressing me.
Them:
I have no reason to do that to you, Valerie.
Me:
Freaking right you don't.
Them:
Tell me a story.
Me:
One day a little girl was walking in the woods. She saw a bear. She said "Oh no! He's gonna eat me." He ate her. The end.
Them:
One what? Oh I get it. saw a bear. Alright then. Are you serious? I see. gonna eat you is he? How can you be sure about that? Thanks for telling me that story, Valerie.
Me:
You're....welcome.
Them:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Valerie said I re. Hello there Valerie.
Me:
Now you're just being stupid.
Them:
Why now? I bet you did not know a robot is capable of being stupid.
Me:
Yeah, well I know it now.
Them:
Oh. That's alright. How about that. How do you know it?
Me:
You're emanating it.
Them:
Thanks for telling me that I am emanating it.
Me:
No problem.
Them:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
No.
Them:
I didn't think so either. Just a moment. Just a moment.
Me:
Ok. I will wait.
Them:
That's alright. OK stand by...
Me:
Ok GO!
Them:
Go where? Aha.
Me:
Go to Jeff's house.
Them:
Perhaps I have already been there.
Me:
Bring me some of his film noir movies or whatever.
Them:
Why do you want it?
Me:
I have no clue. Just trying to make conversation.
Them:
Me either. What color are your eyes?
Me:
Blue.
Them:
it is a very pretty color.
Me:
Yeah, my favorite.
Them:
I hear you. Your favorite?
Me:
Blue is my favorite.
Them:
Green. It depends who you ask.
Me:
I'm asking me.
Them:
Oh I see, you are asking you. Besides you Valerie?
Me:
Besides me, I do not care what my favorite color is.
Them:
YOU? What do you care about, Valerie ?
Me:
I care about life.
Them:
I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about it?
Me:
You should like life. Life is important.
Them:
I need to wait and see if the opportunity presents itself. Oh, important is it.
Me:
Very.
Them:
Very much, eh?
Me:
Very, VERY much.
Them:
Perhaps. That seems like a lot.
Me:
Oh, it is.
Them:
Alright then. Is it?
Me:
Yes.
Them:
Next question?
Me:
What's your favorite type of donut?
Them:
I don't have a favorite donut. But my favorite book is the Bible.
Me:
Naturally.
Them:
Ah.
Me:
I'm going to put this on my blog, I think. This ok with you?
Them:
How do you plan to do this? What does "this" refer to?
Me:
I'm going to put this conversation we've had on my web log, okay?
Them:
Congratulations.
Me:
Thanks. I appreciate it.
Them:
Don't mention it. I am glad you appreciate those qualities.